If you’re a manager, a business owner or you are working in HR, you will no doubt need to have difficult conversations with your employees. These can include anything from discussing poor performance, workplace conflict, personal aspects such as attitude or even a change in their role. 

How you handle difficult conversations can have a huge impact on your relationship with the individual and the wider team. When they are handled correctly, it can result in more trust, understanding, resolutions and better outcomes. That’s why it’s important to handle these conversations with care. 

In this article, we’ll outline what to do before, during and after your conversation to make sure you get the outcome that you want. 

BEFORE

Preparing for difficult conversations

No matter how experienced you are as a manager, you should always prepare for difficult conversations. Think through what you are going to say, what questions you are going to ask and what you want the outcome to be. 

• Write down facts: Gather factual evidence to back up your point. This might include key metrics, emails or what others have said. 
• Draw upon Company Policies: Where relevant, you may need to refer to Company Policies if they have been breached, so ensure you have these to hand.
• Create an objective statement: What do you want the outcome to be? Try to distil this into one sentence and make it as specific as possible. 

Give your employee plenty of advance notice about the meeting with a brief description about what the meeting is about.  This helps set the tone and allows them to prepare in advance too.  

Book a quiet meeting room and allow enough time so you are not rushed. Never have these sorts of conversations on the fly or in the open office. 

DURING

Make it a two-way conversation

Your meeting should be a two-way conversation, giving chance for both parties to contribute.  

You may want to open the meeting by asking them questions so you can consider their point of view. There could be other sides to the story that you’re not aware of, or ways that the business can support them better. Repeat their statements back to them in your own words to check your understanding is correct and ask follow-up questions to gather more information.

Stay focused on the facts

Don’t allow your feelings to get in the way. Keep the conversation focused on facts and real examples to make your point. Be clear about what is expected of them in their role and as an employee so that they recognise where they can improve. 

Make notes

Keep a note of what they are saying. You may want to do this after the meeting, so you can remain fully present and make sure you make enough eye contact. Notes may be needed to accompany their employee records and HR may need a copy. 

Have HR present

Some difficult conversations may need a HR representative present. They can serve as a witness to the meeting, assist with the proper documentation and ensure that you act in accordance with employment law.

Create an action plan

Together with the employee, create an action plan for resolving the issue and/or improving performance. Ask the employee for feedback and suggestions for actionable steps they can take to help manage the problem.

AFTER

Consider the emotional impact

Some difficult conversations can have a real impact on the individual. They may feel angry, upset or undervalued. It may be worthwhile following up with them a few days later to see how they are and follow up on their action plan a few weeks later. 

Celebrate progress

In the coming weeks, celebrate any positive progress with them that you have noticed to keep them motivated. 

Having difficult conversations with employees can be one of the hardest things about being a manager. However, with the right planning and delivery, you can get the right outcomes for you and your team.  

If you need help or guidance, or even in-person support to have these conversations, book in a call with us to see how we can help.